Saturday, July 07, 2007

Spiritual Long Sightedness

When I was 13 I had a year of my life where is seemed to get constant headaches, it meant it was hard to concentrate but more than that I also seemed to be looking into the distance, after many doctors visits they decided i had a problem with my eyes. Two days later I turned up at school with my new national health glasses - the prescription was odd though because I didn't need them for board work - I could see that fine but for things up close that was another story. The further away something was the easier it was to focus, things up close though seemed blurry.... While I no longer wear glasses, I have managed to cope without them I still have problems associated with it, like I don't like people standing too close, I often look as though I am staring into space. But the real irony is how that same condition haunts me to today not in terms of my eye sight but rather my 'spiritual eye' sight.

I struggle to see God at work around me, but can see him clearly working 'at a distance' or in others, and in other situations, it's like I have a pair of binoculars that I permanently look into. And it causes me to wander, to be restless, because i am always looking elsewhere....

I have a wonderful supervisor who has recognised this in me and asked to pray for me about it. So two weeks ago she prayed that the Spirit of wandering would be lifted....

As she prayed I could see an image of me sitting on a window seat (I love window seats!!!) I was looking through the glass at the world outside and it was an amazing site - very cool, behind me everything was dark because the light from outside seemed to drown out the light on the inside. As she prayed I saw someone close the curtains in front of me - which kind of sucked, but as they did I realised that behind me everything was light, there was a party going on and lots of cool things happening. All the time while I was staring out looking for something but unable to get to it because of the glass I had failed to realise everything I needed and wanted was under my nose. The physical problem of being able to focus on things close to me was also a spiritual one. I believe that God has done something in me and I feel a lot more complete, I still like staring out of windows, and I still believe I can see God at work in others, but I can also see God at work in me - close to me - around me, it is a cool feeling.

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