tough

life seems pretty tough at the moment, I am wrestling witha lot of stuff - physicaly and in prayer. several years ago i spent a long period of time meditating and praying Jesus's word about taking up your cross and following him. I got to a stage with that prayer that it became like breadth - and then one day i stopped. The funny thing was that in prayer it became action- the more i wrestled with it the more i relaise it was happenign in my life. As i have gone on in my ministry - which has not been an easy journey - it has becoem more and more true.
I was talking with my wife last night reminding her of this prayer and we both came to the stage of saying enough - we are tired we cannot carry this anymore....
We asked God to use us to open doors to him in others lives - i did not relaise that in doing that we would becoem door handles.

needless to say i am tired - but as always optimistic - our God is alive and still at work in us